A guide to making a Hollywood disaster flick

After having losing count of the disaster flicks and the mini cable movie series, as if there isnt enough of the Hollywood movies,
I am more than tempted to write my own disaster flick.

For starters, you need a disaster.
(My cooking which most of the time is a disaster by itself, doesnt yet qualify for a mega disaster.
We are all alive :-))
Aliens,earthquakes,meteorites,gigantic abberations,insects,animals are all out. These are ancient disasters.We need something new.

How about the magma in the center of earth stopping the rotation?Already done.Do not miss the wonderful movie The Core.
Even bare minimum knowledge of high school Physics is enough for you to appreciate this spoof of HiTech movies.
(I am writing up a commentary about this movie and will post it soon.)

How about unexplainable alien life forms, mutated creatures,alien-human combos, humanoids, machines?Done in too many movies.

Looks like the latest trend is the climatic changes that holds key..
So,
How about tectonic plates reversing...Am just seeing this usa network flick called 10.5 and its sequel 10.5 The Apocalypse. Well, to be truthful, this flick just flipped me and I lost it. How do you stop faults, create another..this is just too much.

So we are out of that one too....What more disasters can you predict?
Are we running out of disasters of global proportions?Nope..we just need more imagination.
So heres a few.....
How about the moon crashing onto earth?
Or, The sun dwarfing?
Or, Earth running out of oxygen?
Or, Big Sink - dats opposite of Big Bang?
I think I will choose one of the above.
If you have any interesting disasters, please let me know.

So now that I have a disaster, whats next?

HiTech gizmos, unbelievable gadgets, unlikely heroes, unconventional methods, untried rescue operations, sad background score, an attitude ridden male lead(s), a skinny-dont-care-about-dressing-up-yet-looking-top lady lead, some history and friction between the heroes, a scorned hero, and a last minute unpredictable(is it) goof-up in the machinery, and finally the HERO-number-UNO who sacrifices his life to save mankind.
Well if he doesnt, since technically he is also a part of mankind, he would have also perished.
So in a Die-or-Die situation, our HERO-number-UNO dies and becomes a DOUBLE HERO.
And other survivors are chosen in a lottery.

As always the core of the story line, Any disaster should first strike, the United States.

At least one thing thats a benefit is , we have scores of people re researching the geography and the history to excavate untread disasters, that there is a chance that something useful might come out.

P.S.
A guide to making a Tamil disaster movie.
Just do a remake of any hollywood disaster movie.
Half the people will not understand and rest would have already seen the original.
And you have a tamil disaster movie.

Never say Just an ear infection.

So many things happened after the last post.
My ear infection, didn't respond to the antibiotics and took epic proportions.
What started out small on Wednesday morning, soon strengthened into category 10 outbreak by Saturday.
My doctor wasn't available on Wednesday - day 1 and I went to another in network doctor, who gave me antibiotics & ear drops.
But things didn't improve by Thursday.
So this time I visited my doc. She doubled the antibiotics strength and gave me vicodin for pain.
I hadn't taken the vicodin prescribed for post delivery pain. I managed through the soreness and stitches with ibuprofen. But now, vicodin every 6 hr wasn't enough for me.
The pain killer wore of in 4 hrs and the pain started killing me.
Like a drug addict I was begging for Sakthi to give me the next dose.
Then came Friday, nothing improved.Only I spent almost the entire day in sleep or I should say trying to sleep hoping that some magic will happen.
It didn't.
Came Saturday when things took a turn to the worst.
I started the day with a huge vomit and by afternoon became a pro.
I went to OConnor's ER after having vomited the last pieces of my intestines, or at least I thought that I had.
Luckily for us, Sakthi's colleague and his wife had come and we handed over Nikhil to them when we headed to the hospital.

If you are a big fan of efficient American hospitals and are used to the glorified Hollywood ER's - patients being rushed to the ER being attended to immediately, doctors running around, stretchers aplenty......... Wake up.
Here is the harsh truth.
The ER was deserted. And Sakthi had to stand in the queue to register. I just went and flopped in the nearest chair.
After 15 mintues of waiting and me shouting Sakthi to get me in, a nurse came called out my name.
My name never sounded better.
By thursday morning, my ear gave way to a little colorless stream, which soon started changing colors each day.Friday it was yellowish.Saturday it was pinkish white.
And the pain was killing me.

Coming back to the nurse, the stupid system ....
Some sort of a pre questionnaire which Sakthi was well qualified to answer for me. But She forced me to and there I was sitting in the wheelchair using all my strength to keep me from flopping. So you can imagine the sort of answers I would have given.
After this rather stupid and useless episodes, I lost the last ounce of my energy and was 1% away from fainting.. I begged Sakthi to get me a stretcher and guess what, THEY DID NOT HAVE STRETCHERS IN THE ER...What sort of ER doesnt have stretchers?
When you are in pain the system sucks.

And after another 15 min of waiting,which seemed like eternity to me, I was wheeled into the ER ward.And got a bed.
When I finally saw a doctor, it was as if I was seeing God.
Then I walked him through the story of my ear infection, which by now, I could replay it even in my sleep.
Then he gave me morphine for pain.
WOW.. It was a heavenly feeling.
After almost 4 days of pain, it felt so good.
The narcotic had me floating.
Everything after that seemed vague and dreamy
No wonder people start liking morphine.
A CAT scan later, the ER doc alerted my doc and she dropped by.And said hello.
Really, and I think I smiled back.
Then after a series of conversations, the infections seemed to have spread beyod the ear, So I went for another series of CAT scans, this time with some die injected.
The technician said I had cooperated nicely.All I did was sleep through it.:-)
By now, the ENT on call,Dr Nyugen, got so worried about the severity of the infection and talked about transferring me to Stanford which is better equipped to handle my situation.
This was a big scare and by now, Nikhil started missing us and became inconsolable.
So Sakthi left me to head home and the doctors were conferring amongst themselves.
After 2 hrs, it was decided and I had to go to Stanford.
If I were to be shifted in an ambulance, I had to wait for one.
So Sakthi said he will drive.
Start a family trip to the Stanford hospital.
God bless the GPS.

Went to the Stanford ER, finished the formalities.Here the staff were better and allowed Sakthi to answer all the questions.
May be, on looking at me, all stoned from the morphine, slumping in the wheelchair, IV in hand, they must have understood that nothing even remotely sensible will come out of my mouth.
Since the good doctor in the OConnor ER had already talked to the ENT in Stanford, I had a bed waiting and was admitted immediately.
The ENT here, was Dr.Murray, and he assured me that I would be well taken care of, and I was more concerned about the next dose of my pain killer.
I was dizzy and fainting and sore from pain.
The doc said that we had to sure that the liquid oozing out was not brain fluid.
This was even more scary and hence sample was sent to culture.
It was past 10pm, and I asked Sakthi, Appa and Nikhil to head back home.
So I spent the first night all alone.


The next day dawned and nothing majorly happened, than that I was allowed to eat.
The 3 wise men visited me from home and the little man drank my cup of cranberry juice.

Monday came and I wasn't given any antibiotics. Turned out that the infection was viral and not bacterial. No wonder the drugs didn't work.
Pain was still there and I was gobbling down vicodin.

Dr.Murray said I was out of danger and that I was fit to go home.
So late night that day I was discharged, with instructions to continue treatment as OP in his clinic.
Pain killers in hand I headed home.

The next day, the family headed to Dr.Murray's office.
Pain still safe and sound, I was still dizzy.
Did I mention that, by Saturday I lost hearing in my right ear?

The doc examined my ear and wanted to drill a hole in the ear and insert a small tube to help drain the fluid, which was still flowing relentlessly.
The numbing medicine was applied. But the infection prevented it from doing its work.
So imagine the pain as he pierced my ear drum.
My delivery was better.(Of course I had epidural.:-))
The expletives that came out of my mouth.
Hmm. I didn't know I could use such colorful words.
Poor doc, got a shock of his life.
I was crying there like a kid and to the western world who is used to mature non emotional adults, a mummy crying in the OP chair must have seemed so out of the world.
Hmm wat to do.

But at least this worked. The pain started coming down.
But the dizziness bouts continued.
And I was tired to the bones.
But the doc had already warned me of a slow recovery.
So here am I, the fourth week after the start of my ear infection, still recovering from it.
Haven't yet regained my health and earing in full.
At least, as of today, I am no longer fainting.

After this episode, I am treating my ear with respect.
No more cutips.
Dear Ear,
Just because you don't warrant so much of maintenance, doesn't mean that I don't love you.