Sinking in the family life

Scribblings of a working-mom-trying-balance-life-work-baby-life
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Having had a religious upbringing, I was brought up with hearing vedantic discourses.
Hearing it again and again, about how people get engulfed in the daily life and forget god and the meaning of life...
All this was funny to me, for at that time, I wasnt a family woman.
I was a kid who had everything taken care of...
Free to do anything..

Now, married and with a child.. I am living the verse - Totally engulfed in the sea of life.
Each day has become a replay of a previous day with just slight differences.
Nothing bad.
I have a wonderful family life. But running this has taken over me.
There is no time to sit and relax.
Yesterday I read an post about Naresh, who mocked back at fate, which had driven him to a wheelchair.
I was in tears, and wanted to and meditate.
I was so moved that, my mind was questioning the reason why god created humans and gave them suffering.
I wanted to go some place and sit and contemplate on life and give my mind some time to gather the scattered thoughts.
I reached home, and nothing of this happened.
I ended up cooking and cleaning.

The next day has come. And my mind still is confused.
So again I am here thinking, WHY?
Why wasnt I able to spare some time to sit doing nothing?
What is life?What is fair?Why are things the way it is?
I dont not want anything even remotely hurtful to happen to my son.
We are all Gods children, arent we?
Then why is he making us suffer.
Each person, however rich and endowed, has suffered in some aspect.
All the pain and sufferings in the world.. Why is it there?
I am sitting here and writing this, and at the same moment, there is some one struggling just to be alive.
It doesnt seem fair or right.
"Life is not fair. Sometimes things happen which we dont like"
A dialogue which I remember.

I think, this is a question every one gets.
May be people turn atheist unable to get an answer to this question.


May be this is why we had Gurus, answering your questions.
Sitting here in the Western end of the planet, everything seems very unnatural.

So many things are taken for granted out here. Things which more than half of the planet's people can only dream about.

Hmmmm
To sum it up, I am truly lost in the sea of life.
Those days, when we do nothing, but sit and stare at the star studded sky,
take a walk in the beach not feeling guilty for having wasted precious time, where I could have cooked something.

The only time my mind rests is when I am driving and am not talking to anyone on the bluetooth.
:-)

P.S...
This was a post which I forgot to post and posting it a couple of months later.

Once again, sinking in the family life